The ‘next right thing’

It can be difficult to describe to other people the feeling of a chronic OCD panic-state.  The shots of adrenalin in the stomach, the racing thoughts, the sense of being overwhelmed, confused and scared.   How can we possibly make clear and conscious choices about how to go about the day in front of us, when our brains are feeling so frazzled and pulled in multiple directions by fearful thoughts of what happened in the past and what might happen in the future?

As people suffering with REOCD, we’re desperate to feel in control.  We want to know exactly what happened in the past, and how other people would feel about it.  We want to know for sure whether feared consequence will ever come true.  Sometimes we become so tormented by the need for certainty, we compulsively confess to other people in the hopes of getting a definitive answer to these worries.  But other people cannot give us the certainty we crave.  They cannot change our past or dictate our future, just as we can’t.

What do we actually have any control over, in that case?  The present moment and how we engage with it.  That’s it.  The present moment is the only thing we ever experience, and the only place where we can exercise choice.  It’s the only place we can make positive, compassionate choices and foster our sense of worth.

Through 12-step fellowships I became aware of the phrase ‘do the next right thing’.  When our lives or our minds seem overwhelming, this can be a really helpful principle to follow.  I believe the term was coined by psychologist Carl Jung, when corresponding with a compatriot about how to live life:

______________________________________________________________

Dear Frau V.,

Your questions are unanswerable because you want to know how one ought to live. One lives as one can. There is no single, definite way for the individual which is prescribed for him or would be the proper one. If that’s what you want you had best join the Catholic Church, where they tell you what’s what.

Moreover this way fits in with the average way of mankind in general. But if you want to go your individual way, it is the way you make for yourself, which is never prescribed, which you do not know in advance, and which simply comes into being of itself when you put one foot in front of the other.

If you always do the next thing that needs to be done, you will go most safely and sure-footedly along the path prescribed by your unconscious. Then it is naturally no help at all to speculate about how you ought to live. And then you know, too, that you cannot know it, but quietly do the next and most necessary thing.

So long as you think you don’t yet know what this is, you still have too much money to spend in useless speculation. But if you do with conviction the next and most necessary thing, you are always doing something meaningful and intended by fate. With kind regards and wishes,

Yours sincerely, C.G. Jung

______________________________________________________________

At times when I feel my mind getting panicky and trying to throw a blanket of control over too many things, I try to bring myself back to the ‘next right thing’.  I ease myself back into my present moment and circumstances, and wait for some inspiration or intuition which informs me what simple step to take next.  That could be absolutely anything:  perhaps it’s time to refocus on my work, message a friend, go for a walk, make a cup of tea, do some housework, or rest.  All that matters is that I allow myself to trust the process and give my attention to a positive action in the present moment – even if intrusive thoughts or fears come along for the ride.

As with other recovery tools, this is not a magic way of ridding yourself of OCD.  But simplifying your focus to the ‘next right thing’ can help to bring you out of the confusing forest of OCD thoughts, restore you to the present moment, and build a greater sense of trust that – if you just give attention to whatever you’re doing right now – the rest will take care of itself.  That’s a difficult faith to build, if you are so used to seeking control over every aspect of your life, but it is something you can develop with practice. 

String enough ‘next right things’ together in your day, and you can put your head on the pillow tonight knowing deep down that you’ve done your best.